he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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