So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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