just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
