a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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