yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dignity is for republicans.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
