I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
