all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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