she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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