Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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