My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
