with your own penis?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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