3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
