We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
