I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
