she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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