Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
