Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
