I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
