How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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