i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
