Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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