that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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