I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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