i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
