woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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