I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
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