Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
