I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
