I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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