Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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