And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
