My first STD was from a foam party
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
