i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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