oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
