Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
