Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
