Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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