I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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