We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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