at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need water and some morals
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
