Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
