the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
