Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize