he told me I talked like a deaf person
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
