So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
