I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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