Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
