I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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