erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
