did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
