But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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