And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
