I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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