Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
