I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
